Leave Room for the Doubters

Faith does not come naturally to me.

It seems to me as though my natural disposition tends toward questioning, cynicism, and skepticism. I don't relate much with Peter's faith as he jumped out of the boat and walked on water. I think I can relate more with Thomas' skepticism.

I hope you don't think less of me when I say that, even as a pastor, I've sat at my desk and asked myself, "is this all for real?"

It's at times like these that Jesus' words to Thomas from John 20:27 sting:"Do not disbelieve, but believe."

Now, I don't want to make this sound like I'm in a huge period of questioning my faith or anything like that... 'cause I'm not. Sometimes I'm just struck by the unlikelyhood of it all. This is just a struggle within my own personality; a battle within my human nature. Many different people struggle through a lot of different things and my natural skepticism provides me with my own little battle.

One thing that has helped me through these doubtful thoughts has been "Pascal's Wager". Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician, physicist, and religious philosopher from the 1600s. Pascal layed out his "wager" in the Pensées (which was actually assembled after his death).

His wager runs a little like this...
If you live as though (the Christian) God exists:
If God exists, you go to heaven: your gain is infinite.
If God does not exist, you gain nothing and lose nothing.

If you live as though (the Christian) God does not exist:
If God exists, your loss is infinite.
If God does not exist, you gain nothing and lose nothing.

Thus, by Pascal's reasoning, if you're going to risk either belief or unbelief it is more prudent to make the risk of faith. It's not a flawless arguement but I think he's right and many Christian authors have picked up on this rational. CS Lewis makes use of this logic in "Mere Christianity" and it is, to a certain extent, the basis of Daniel Taylor's book, "The Myth of Certainty." Both of these books have had a huge impact on my life.

Does your personality tend more towards belief or unbelief? (more for personal reflection)

Does Pascal's Wager make sense to you?

What is Pascal's most "becoming" feature, his hair or his nose?

Check out my amazing photoshop skills: here.

"I do believe... help my unbelief"

As a postmodern Christian I take great comfort in Mark 9:24. In this passage a desperate father comes to Jesus with his son asking for healing. He asks Jesus "if" He can heal his son. Jesus replies that "all things are possible to him who believes" (9:23). The father, desperate to believe but unsure if he does cries out, "I do believe; help my unbelief."

Often this is the way I am in my Christian life. I know what I believe (or should believe) but when I actually deconstruct my own actions or motives my own belief/faith (same greek word; 'pistis') is questionable. I am left with the reality of my own unbelief ('apistis'). This is why Jesus' response is so comforting; he heals the man's son. Jesus accepts this man's desire to believe as belief. This is what the postmodern Christian needs to grasp. Our salvation does not solely rest on our belief/faith but on Christ's faithfulness.

In my third year at Bethany College I read a textbook in my "Contemporary Thought" class. This book was "The Myth of Certainty" by Daniel Taylor. The book wrestles with what it means to be an intellectually honest Christian in the church. At a surface level, the contemporary church has a lot for a postmodern critic to deconstruct. When some of these critiques are justified how do we as Christians respond? How do we live when we are split between in the intellectual and Christian worlds? Why are these two worlds supposedly exclusive from each other? If you've ever wrestled with these questions this is a book that you should read. I found it very helpful.

Here's where you can respond:

Have you ever gone through times of doubt? What was/is of help for you?
How can we as thoughtful, reflective Christians live in a postmodern world?
If intellectual honesty requires that we admit the possibility that we may be wrong how do we reconcile this with a life of belief/faith?